Burning Heart
by MariFzeka286
Summary: Clary Fray has tried to forget the fire, tried for years, but that memory keeps coming back. Reminding her of that day. Of all she lost. Can a certain insufferable Jace Herondale help her to forget all that she's lost? Or will his own loss just be resurfaced as well?
1. Chapter 1

**A./N/ This is my first fanfic. Ever. I've read them before but haven't written before. So… Review and tell me what you think. I will take positive and negative. I just want to know what you guys think. Thanks! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. The rest all goes to Cassandra Clare. I wish I was her, but alas, I am not.**

**Clary p.o.v.**

_I watch as my house burns in flames. My whole life even though I've only lived it for six years, burning to the ground. Silent tears stream down my face, while Luke, my step-father comforts my mom. She's trying to break away from him, to run back in and save the life she once knew, but his iron grip is keeping her away._

_Because if she goes in there, she will die, trying to save my brother. She's screaming at Luke, pleading with him to let her go save her baby, but he won't let her. I just stand frozen, watching my life unfold. _

"_Please, Luke!" She cries. "Let me save him!"_

"_Jocelyn you can't do anything, there's no way to get to him!"_

"_Please…" She breaks down and stops struggling, just letting him hold her while her heart breaks apart._

_I don't know what I'm doing until I've reached the open door. I can faintly hear the fire trucks sirens screaming, and Luke's yells, but none of it registers. All I'm thinking is, __**Jonathan**__._

_My older brother, who was always there for me. I can't stand the thought of him dying._

_I rush into the inferno that once was my house, screaming his name, hoping, searching for a response._

_Before I know it, my vision starts going black from the smoke inhalation and heat, and my knees start to buckle. The last thing I remember before the darkness hits me is a strong pair of arms carrying me from the fire._

I wake up from my ever present nightmare. Even though it happened ten years ago the memory still haunts me. We moved less than a year after the fire. We all thought it for the best. Los Angeles was only filled with pain, and my mom though Brooklyn would be a better place to continue her career as a painter, and for Luke as a bookstore owner.

I look around my teal room, and down to my matching bedspread and wonder how my life unfolded like this. One second I was playing in the backyard, the next my whole life had changed forever.

I smack my alarm clock, the infernal thing, and get ready for my first day of junior year at St. Xavier's High School. I'm hoping it will be a good one. I get out of bed at search through my closet for something to wear. God knows that Izzy will still not approve.

Isabelle Lightwood has been my best friend since my first day of school ten years ago, alongside Simon Lewis, my other best friend. Izzy and Simon should be dating, but they neither has made a move, so for the rest of us, it's just torture watching them flirt all the time. Izzy is gorgeous, model pretty. She has ink black hair that comes down to mid back, brown eyes, and the most flawless skin. She's a tall, and very intimidating girl sometimes. She has every guy drooling over her all the time.

Then there's Simon, he's tall, kind of gangly, with brown hair, brown eyes, and glasses. He's rather cute, but he's like my brother and he and Izzy are totally different, which is why they are perfect for each other. He's in a band, though they can never keep the name, a gamer, not the best dresser, and is rather shy at times. Us three are all the same age, so we're hoping for some classes together.

Alec Lightwood is Izzy's older brother, who is going to be a senior this year. He's got the same inky black hair as Izzy, and piercing blue eyes. He's in a gay relationship with this guy Magnus since last year, but we all knew he was gay before then. Magnus is something else, if you want glitter, that's where you'll find it, with him, always.

I decide on some faded skinny jeans, one of my favorites, a Rolling Stones t-shirt, and my red converses. I leave them on my bed while I go take a shower.

Even in the shower the memory still tries to cloud my thoughts, I quickly push it away, not letting it break me down before the day has even started. I quickly shower, brush my teeth, and try to tame my wild fiery red curls that have gone haywire in my sleep. I brush them out as best as I can, then put my hair into a messy bun. I apply minimal makeup, not anything to extreme. Some mascara eye shadow to bring out my emerald green eyes, and some lip gloss. I quickly get dressed then look at myself in the mirror.

I'm a whole five foot nothing, flat chested, and have freckles, everywhere. Most people think I'm a nine year old when they see me, not realizing I'm sixteen. I sigh and grab my messenger bag and backpack, heading to the kitchen to the aroma of breakfast. 

"Morning sweetie!" My mom cheerfully greets me, while eating her breakfast at the table. Luke also says hello while cooking at the stove. We live in a moderately sized apartment in the city, it fits our family, which is what matters. I grumble a hello while flopping into a chair.

My mother is gorgeous, people say we look alike, but I don't see it. I'm like the raggedy Anne to her Barbie doll. She's taller and leaner than I am, her hair a few shades darker, her eyes more mature. She's wearing her usual paint splattered overalls and a pencil in my bun to keep it in place.

Luke comes over bringing my breakfast and his own. Luke and my mother got married when I was two and Jonathan was three, Jon and I never knew our real father, but Luke has been our father for as long as we both can remember. He's got blue eyes and brown with grey streaked hair. He has been in my life since before either I or Jon was born, being friends with my parents before marrying my mom. He owns a bookstore right down the street from our apartment and is the proud owner.

I inhale my food and am quickly saying goodbye to them both before I'm out the door and heading to my car. My car isn't anything fancy; it's an old Ford Taurus, a sweet sixteen birthday gift from my parents. It isn't amazing, but it works. I put my bags on the passenger seat and get in. I turn on the car and pull out of the driveway, anxious to see the rest of my friends and see how this day goes.

The memory is still prickling my mind, but I push it away again.

_I will not think about this. I will not think about it. _I say in my head.

_"It was your fault…" _A voice in my mind says to me. I ignore it and keep driving.

_"Your entire fault…" _ I ignore it again and try and calm my heart that started to pound in my ears whenever I think of that day. I drive into the parking lot and cut the engine.

_"Well here goes nothing." _I grab my bags and get out of the car. 

**A./N. Okay let me know what you guys think! Like/love/hate it, whatever you think. Just review and tell me! I know not much happened in this chapter, but I promise more will come, if you guys like it that is. This was sort of like a prologue with more of a chapter one feel if you know what I mean.**

**No? Just me? Well okay then.**

**Review if you would be so kind, so I know who actually was nice enough and read my, most likely bad, fanfic.**

**Always,**

**Mari**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N./ Hey guys! Well, I decided one review was enough. Also I'm itching to write some more. I'm hoping you like it! I don't have a total plan on where I'm taking the story just yet; I'll just have to see where it takes me while I write it. Also sorry for the wait, for those of you who are waiting, I had this 6:30 hour dance intensives last week and was way too tired to write.**

**Anyways, on to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot. Everything else goes to the fantabulous Cassandra Clare.**

**Also the rating might change in later chapters. Just letting you know.**

**C p.o.v.**

I step out of the car, and start to make the journey past the sea of people to the doors of the school. Some familiar faces, some not. I quickly head to the office to get my schedule for the year. Chemistry, Trigonometry, English Honors, World History honors, Lunch, Art, Gym, and my last period is a Free period. Not too shabby this year. I take my schedule and head out to my locker and hopefully, Izzy and Simon.

I get to my locker and just finish putting my stuff away, close my locker and hit a human wall. I look up to see golden eyes and hair staring back at me. _Jace Herondale. _The infuriatingly gorgeous Jace Herondale. His face is a mask of surprise for a split second then changes back to his usual smirk.

"What where you're going short stuff, don't want you to get lost." He says with his usual teasingly seductive voice. He is such an asshat, but such a hot asshat.

"You were the one who ran into me!" I snap back at him. "I was just standing here!"

He just looks at me with his usual arrogance. God, I hate him.

"Well then you better move, Red." He whispers in my ear. I involuntarily shiver.

_No! Don't do that! Don't let him affect you!_

I just stand there as the blush creeps up on me, heating my cheeks a darker red than my hair.

Jace Herondale is something else. With his Angel like face and God like body, he is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. Of course, his ego is just as big as his beauty, which then makes him a total jerk. He's the biggest player in our grade, probably even in our school. He always has some bimbo hanging on his arm. He just uses them then throws them away like they're trash.

He's always been mean to me, ever since I moved here. I don't think he likes that I stole some attention from him. He never gives up an opportunity to irritate me.

"_But you don't want him to stop." _A voice in my head says.

"_What!? Of course I want him to stop. I want him to leave me alone. Forever."_

"_Oh really? Is that why you basically drool over him every chance you get? Or those dreams you-"_

"_Stop it! I will not take this from a voice in my own head! I do not have feelings for Jace Herondale! He is a pig who should not be allowed to live on this Earth!"_

As I stop arguing with myself I realize I've been standing here at my locker for a full minute and hurry to find my friends.

I found Izzy and Simon with some of our other friends.

Maia Roberts, who has caramel skin, brown hair, and brown eyes. She is currently breaking the PDA code with her boyfriend, and one of our other friends, Jordan Kyle.

Jordan is tall, olive skinned, with dark curly hair and hazel eyes. He is also a part of Simon's band. He's the lead singer.

I catch up to them all just in time to see Jace sauntering over with Alec in tow.

"God, he is the most infuriating guy I have ever met!" I exclaim, exasperated.

"Try having to live with him. It's even worse." Izzy replies, after looking away from Simon long enough to notice my present.

"I would hate having to live with that jerk, Izzy." Simon chimes in.

"You're so understanding…" Izzy trails off as she and Simon zone out into each other again.

"I-" I'm cut off by the warning bell. Sighing I bid farewell to my friends and head to my homeroom.

My first few classes weren't that bad, I was lucky that my friends were in some. Then came English. Which, so wonderfully, I have with Jace. Who coincidentally, also is assigned the seat next to me. Great.

Once the teacher, Mrs. Blackthorn, turns away and begins her beginning of the year lesson, I take out my sketchbook and begin to draw.

"Normally people pay attention during class." Jess remarks, looking at my book.

I startle, then collect myself before answering him.

"Says you, _you're _going to tell _me_ to pay attention?" I reply back.

"Yes I am, as much as I love your drawing of me."

_What!?_

I look down and notice that, in fact, I did draw Jace, as an angel. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was drawing, I just did it.

My face starts to burn as red as my hair which Jace snickers. I quickly close my sketchbook and keep my eyes on the board and Mrs. Blackthorn for the rest of the period.

When the bell rings, I quickly gather my stuff as fast as I can and head to leave, my a hang catches my wrist before I can bolt.

"Hey! Short Stuff, hold on a second, lemme see your schedule before you leave."

I huff out an irritated breath before I hand over my schedule.

He studies it before smirking and handing it back.

"Well, looks like we'll be spending a lot of time together this year, we've got every other class together."

_Again, what!?_

I inwardly, and maybe a little bit outwardly, groan. I'm going to have to deal with him for five or six periods _every day_!? The school obviously hates me.

"Now you can see my pretty face for more than half the school day!"

"Oh great, I can't wait!" My voice oozing with sarcasm.

"That's the spirit!" He says, completely ignoring my sarcasm.

I stuff my schedule back into my back and head out, to my next class, which wonderfully, I share with Jace.

After successfully getting through all of my classes, and lunch, where I got to see more of Jordan and Maia breaking the school's PDA rules, and Simon and Izzy, being as close as possible without actually kissing; I get to have my free period. I head to the courtyard in the back of the school where I love to sit and draw.

After I just get into the zone, I'm again startled by the wonderous Jace Herondale.

"Drawing some more pictures of me, Red?"

"You wish, Blondie. What are you doing out here anyways. Do you have nothing better to do than come and bug me?"

"As sad as I am to say, I also enjoy this spot. I come out here to think."

"Well, think without using your mouth." I snap back at him.

He smirks and goes over to lie down under this big oak tree. The shadow it casts on him is so perfect, I can't help but draw it. _Or do you just want an excuse to stare at him? _I stop myself from having another fight with myself and continue drawing. Unconsciously, I stop drawing the tree altogether, and just continue to draw Jace. The curve of his jaw, the way his amber eyes catch the light. How his T-shirt hugs his most likely washboard abs. The way his jeans… _WOAH! Clary! Again with this! How many times do you have to remind yourself. You do __**NOT **__like Jace. He is an arrogant prick who just plays girls and breaks their hearts! _I shake my head to clear my Jace-like thoughts and find him looking over my shoulder and the sketch I did of him.

"So, the fan art continues, could you just not resist my God-like looks?" He teases.

Once again my face goes bright red.

"I-I uh…" I stammer. What has gotten over me? Why am I getting all tongue tied?

He chuckles then walks back to grab his backpack as the bell rings.

"Well, see ya tomorrow Shorty." He says.

"Uh- uh yeah." My speech is award worthy today.

He smirks at me before he goes back inside, not before I catch a glimpse of a real emotion in his eyes. I didn't have enough time to figure out what it was, but it was off setting.

I quickly grab my stuff and head to my locker to grab my things before walking to my car. I throw my stuff in the passenger seat before getting in on my side. I check my phone before I leave. One new message from my mom.

_Hope your first day is going well, love you sweetie._

_Xoxo Mom_

I text back a quick reply then start the car and head out of the parking lot to get home.

_This is going to be a loooonng year._ I think in my mind.

**A./N. Sooo what do ya think!? Love/hate/like it? I will take them all! **

**Reviews would be lovely, they make you feel very good. **

**Always,**

**Mari**


	3. Chapter 3

**A./N. Well howdy there! I was bored, so I didn't wait very long, but anyways, on to the story!**

**But first a quick disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot, everything else goes to the wondrous Cassandra Clare, our queen. Not the Seelie Queen, our queen.**

**C p.o.v.**

The ride home was uneventful, that is, until I think of the fire. Like I always do when I'm not preoccupied. I gave up years ago trying to forget. It just wasted money taking me to doctors that never actually did anything. All they did was ask me questions and relay the answers to my parents. I never got better, so I quit trying. I just pretended to feel better for my parent's sake, though I know they still know I'm not over it. The only way they could be was if they were deaf. Because of the nightmares I would sometimes have, which involved me screaming until my parents ran in and woke me up. I stopped having those, but still dream about the fire every other night. _Maybe you would get over it if you didn't feel so guilty about it. It was your fault._

_No! I'm not doing this again!_

Though I can't help but think back to the dish towel that I unknowingly put in the oven when it was on. The firefighters never found the cause of the fire, but I knew. I knew, because it was what cause my brother to die.

I accidentally swerve a little when the tears blur my vision and drive into the nearest parking lot to collect myself.

I look up to see what lot I turned into, _Taki's._

My favorite restaurant. It never ceases to make me feel better, no matter what my mood is. I decide I could go for some food so I quickly text my mom telling her I'll be home late and not to wait up.

When I enter I'm hit with the familiar aroma of food. And hit with my friends waving me over from our usual booth.

"Clary! I was literally about to text you! We all decided to meet up here after school then we're heading over to my house. You left before I could catch you but you seem to have made your way on your own!" Izzy tells me.

"Don't worry about it. I'm glad my senses brought me here." I laugh.

From the left in the booth is: Magnus, Alec, Jace, Maia, Jordan, Izzy, and Simon.

I slide in next to Simon and am greeted by the rest of my friends. Kaelie, the waitress, comes over to take our orders. I order some pancakes even though it's the afternoon.

Everybody continues their conversations; I add little bits to seem like I'm still listening while I get lost in my own world. Again, not of my own accord, my thoughts go back to the one and only Jace Herondale.

_Why don't you just admit that you-_

_NO! Stop it! I don't have any other feeling except hate for Jace!_

_Well it doesn't seem that way._

_Well it's the truth!_

I've always hated Jace. That was never an issue. So why is it now? Nothing's changed, he's still a self-centered prick. _Maybe you like that. _No! I refuse to keep having these thoughts! I won't become one of those girls who're enamored by him! It won't happen!

"Clary. Clary… _CLARY_!" Izzy says.

"Wh- what!?" Again, my speech is top notch.

"I was trying to get your attention, for the bazillionth time. We're leaving, and I wanted to tell you before you got too lost in your own little world."

"Oh, uh thanks. I'll be over in just a bit."

"Okay!" She replies as she heads out the door, Simon in tow.

Again, I shake my head to clear it and head outside to my car. I start it and the drive over to Izzy, Jace, and Alec's house. Well, it's not so much a house as it is a mansion. The Lightwoods are very wealthy and with their parents on business most of the time, normally they're by themselves. They had a younger brother, Max, who died a couple of years ago. They don't talk about it very often. They don't like to bring it up. It's another reason their parents are gone so much. Izzy and I will talk about it occasionally, but not usually. Max was only seven when he died, and he was the baby of their family. Most people know not to talk about it. Unless you're new, but then you either don't know about it, or someone tells you quickly.

I pull into the driveway and again notice that everyone's already here. Knowing them, Maia went with Jordan in his car, Izzy took Simon in hers, Alec probably drove Magnus, and Jace both took their own cars. I get out and walk up to the door, ring the doorbell and wait. Alec opens the door and lets me in.

"Hey Clary!" He says to me.

"Hey Alec, where is everyone?"

"We're all in the living room. Come on."

I walk with him through their huge house to their also huge living room. Everyone's seated on the couches and chairs, talking. I'm greeted as usual.

"So what do you guys think of your classes this year?" Maia asks.

"Mine are pretty good, usual teachers." Simon replies.

"I got Mr. Williams for Chem., he sucks!" Jordan says.

"I'm so sorry for you. When I had him last year he was horrible." Alec replied to him.

"I've been graced with more than half my schedule with Midge over here." Jace says.

"I'm so excited to spend most of my day with the amazing Jace Herondale!" I say, my voice oozing sarcasm.

"Oh don't worry Clary, at least you have us in some of your classes to keep you from ripping his head off." Izzy assures me.

"Yeah, I hope so." I say, starting to zone out of the conversation. We all talk for about another hour then we start to go our separate ways.

"I gotta go guys, I can't get home too late, though I told mom not to wait up."

I bid farewell to them all and head out. I take my keys out of my pocket and get in, start the car, and drive out of their driveway.

When I get home my parents are on the couch, watching TV. I give them the usual first day ghist and then grab an apple and head upstairs. I drop my bags on the floor and go to my dresser to get some pjs. After I change I climb into bed with my sketchbook and colored pencils.

I start drawing, getting into the zone. I don't realize what I've drawn until I finish. Of course, again, it's a picture of Jace. Him from the side with winds and rays of sun surrounding him. I have to admit it was one of my best drawings. Of course the fact that it's _him_ makes me unhappy. But there really is an Angel-like quality to his features. Kind of like God reached down and carved him himself.

I decide that that's enough drawing for the night, and put my sketchbook on my night table. I reach over and turn off my lamp, and fall asleep almost instantly.

I wake up in a cold sweat and panting at what my clock says is two thirty in the morning. Another dream about the fire. I decide a glass of water would be nice so head, quietly, to the kitchen. I let my eyes adjust to the dark then grab a glass from the cabinet and get some water. As I'm drinking my mind somehow wonders to Jace again. That emotion I saw in his eyes today. But how was there emotion? Jace Herondale doesn't have emotion. He can't. I finish my water and decide I must've just imagined it. I head back to my room and prepare to lie for an hour trying to get myself to go back to sleep when a text interrupts me.

_We need to talk_

It's from Jace, why did my heart rate pick up from seeing his name?

_About what? _I answer simply.

_Us. _Us? What us? We aren't a thing.

_There isn't an Us Jace. What are you talking about?_

_Never mind. Bye._

I stare confusedly at my phone before turning it off and lying back down. Surprisingly, I fall right asleep. And this time, my dreams weren't about the fire, they were about Jace. Which to me, is worse. Because those dreams weren't the most innocent in nature.

Shit.

**A./N. Soooooo, what did you think? Like/love/hate it? I will take them all. Just review! Or favorite. Or follow. I will love them all! Any feedback would be fantastic.**

** Always,**

** Mari**


	4. Chapter 4

**A./N. Thank all of you who have reviewed! It means a lot when people actually do review! And for those of you who don't, thanks for reading anyways! You all get cookies! Also, so the story isn't stuck going about a day at a time, this one is a couple days later. One more thing, there's a surprise for you guys today!**

**On to the story!**

**But first a disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. Everything else goes to Cassandra Clare. I wish I could write like her, but alas, you get my noobish writing.**

**C p.o.v.**

_"Clary…" Jace's voice a whisper in my ear, his breath tickling my neck and cheek._

_ He was golden. Literally golden. Not just his hair and eyes, but his skin. He had golden angel's wings, which billowed behind him. He was like an angel of God. Sent down to take me to heaven, away from the thoughts that damn me everyday._

_ He offers me his hand, I take it. Taking comfort in the steely warmth which is powered by the heavenly fire pulsing through his veins._

_ And then we're flying, through the air, or whatever the place we are is. But none of that matters, all that matters is him, Jace. We start to descend back to the ground. But I don't let go of his hand. Instead, I wrap my arms around his neck. Leaning closer and closer to him._

_ BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

_ What!?_

I'm startled from my dream by my alarm clock. My face flushed and my body warm. I lean over and turn off my alarm.

This has been happening for the past few days. Every night I go to sleep, and every night I dream about Jace. It's normally different, but a lot of the time he has wings.

Jace hasn't said anything about the texts from that first night; he's been acting like they never happened, which now I can't even be sure they did. Except for the fact that I have the evidence on my phone.

The weird thing is, he's been more irritating since then, like he's trying to hide something. I haven't said anything to Izzy or Simon, but I doubt they would understand. They would probably just say I'm crazy. I don't even know.

What I do know is that it's Friday, which means the weekend. And, it means a sleepover at Izzy's house. We sometimes have them at my apartment, but I prefer to sleep at Izzy's.

_"There's also the fact that you get to see Jace without a shirt in the morning."_

_ "No! That is not why!"_

_ "Mmmhmm, sure it isn't."_

_ "No! I'm done having yet another argument with myself!"_

I sigh, and then get out of bed, after detangling myself from my blankets. I go to my closet, and pick out some jeans and a hoodie. Wearing a random band T underneath.

I lay them on my bed and go to shower. Afterwards I brush my teeth and try and brush my hair. I apply some makeup, then go and get dressed.

The ghost caress of Dream-Jace are still making me involuntarily shiver. I shake my head and go to the kitchen for breakfast.

My parents decided to go away for the weekend to a nice bed and breakfast upstate, so that's another reason I'm staying at Izzy's for the weekend. I read the note my mom left me while I grab an apple.

_Left early so we could dodge traffic. Be safe, love you._

_ Mom xoxo_

I throw the note in the trash after reading it, and then grab my bags and head to school.

**Jace p.o.v.**

_There she is, beautiful, standing on the shore with the waves crashing behind her. The wind making the emerald dress she's wearing look like it's alive. Her red hair like a fiery halo around her head. Her green eyes like pools of molten emeralds. _

_ She extends her hand to me, a silent beckoning. I start to walk forward, except my legs won't move, it's like I'm glued to the sand. My bare feet struggling against the unkown force holding them._

_ I get a feeling of dread in my gut, an omen to something horrible._

_ Her face changes from serene to a mask of horror. What once were waves are now flames, licking at her dress._

_ She's screaming, calling for me to help her, but I can't move._

_ "Clary!" I try to call for her, but my mouth won't make sound. The next thing I hear is a noise no person should ever hear. A noise so full of pain it's heart wrenching. A blood curdling scream, turning the blood pumping in my veins to ice, which is the last thing I hear before I'm thrown from my dream._

I open my eyes to the worried faces of Alec and Isabelle.

"Wha- what are you guys doing here?" I ask them. My speech isn't working the best.

"You were yelling Jace, in your sleep. You were saying something about trying to save someone." Alec says to me.

"Are you okay, Jace? That sounded like you were terrified." Izzy says to me, concern lacing her voice.

"Yeah- yeah I'm fine. It was just a nightmare. I'm sorry I woke you guys up. What time is it?"

"It's six in the morning." Alec says to me. He looks like he hasn't slept in a week.

"I was up already, I didn't sleep well anyways." Izzy tells me.

"I just haven't been sleeping well at all." Alec says.

"Well, I'm going to take a shower then." I say to them.

"Okay… Just, you know you can tell us if something's wrong, right?" Alec says.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It's nothing. Don't worry." I assure them. Then go into my en suite bathroom and lock the door. I turn on the shower then sink down against the wall. My face in my hands.

What is going on? Where have these dreams, or should I say nightmares, been coming from? They all started the first day of school. Once I fell asleep after texting Clary.

_Clary_

Just her name sends a shiver straight through my spine.

What is happening to me? Since when did I get shivers from a girl? Never, that's when. I don't get feelings for girls. At least, I thought I didn't…

_Maybe you've always had feelings for her._

_ What!? That's crazy. Me and Clary don't get along, we never have._

_ Or maybe you just irritate her to stop yourself from having feelings for her._

_ No! That's crazy!_

I shake my head to clear my thoughts then get in the shower.

_ I definitely need a cold shower. I need no more warming thoughts._

After my shower I dry off then walk back into my room with a towel hanging around my hips and another drying off my hair.

Alec is sitting on my bed. He's dressed, well, as dressed as Alec can be. I don't know why Magnus tries. Alec has no sense of style what so ever.

He stands up as I approach. He waits for me to stop drying my hair before he talks.

"Jace, there's something I didn't tell you. I didn't want Izzy to hear. I came in here before she did, and caught something she didn't." Alec says to me.

I stiffen immediately after he speaks.

"Wha- what did I say?" I ask tentatively.

"You said a name." Alec replies back, looking at the floor.

"Whose?"

"Clary's…" He says slowly.

I turn stone cold. No, there's no way I could've said her name. He must just be imagining it.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I say to him, narrowing my eyes.

He doesn't flinch, he's not afraid of me, after living with me since I was ten and he was eleven.

"Jace, what's going on with Clary? Since when have you been dreaming about her? Or thinking about her in any sort of way that doesn't involve aggravating her?" He questions me.

"I wasn't dreaming about Clary!" My voice rising an octave. I know he can tell I'm lying, but he leaves it.

"Okay, whatever you say. I'm going downstairs. I made breakfast, if you want some. I didn't let Izzy help, so it shouldn't be too inedible." He says as he heads out the door. He casts one more worried look at me, and then leaves.

I brace my hands on my dresser for support after he leaves. My knees turning weak. I breathe deeply then collect myself and get dressed.

After I dress and make my hair look amazing, I brush my teeth before heading downstairs to eat, while trying to clear my thoughts of Clary from my already confused head.

After breakfast I grab my wallet, keys, and backpack from my room. Not before sparing a glance at the picture on my desk of my parents.

Swallowing the lump that formed in my throat, I quickly grab my leather jacket and head to the garage. I open the garage door and then turn on my black Escalade. I pull out of the garage and drive down the long driveway then head to school. That feeling of dread I felt in my dream making itself present again, low in my gut. Something is going to happen, I just know it.

**A./N. Sooo, how do ya like it? I decided that I would write more of it in Jace's p.o.v. because I haven't yet. Also, anyone else exctited for SoM? I am! Don't forget to review! Tell me what you think! Lik/love/hate it, I will take them all!**

**Always,**

**Mari**


	5. Chapter 5

**A./N. Well hiya everybody! Thank you all for the reviews, follows, and favorites! It means so much! And on my first story! That's even better! And 592 views! For me that's crazy! Even though it's not crazy amazing, it makes me really happy knowing how many people are reading!**

**Anyways, on to ze story! And I'm sorry about the last one, it was more of a filler chapter, but I've made a very rough outline going up to chapter seven, so I know what I'm doing, for the moment at least! **

**Quick disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. The rest goes to the wonderful Cassandra Clare. Who I hope to be able to write like she can someday!**

**Clary P.o.v.**

I have had this sense of dread ever since I got to school. It's like a bad omen. Everything was perfectly fine until I almost got to school. The weirdest thing is, I didn't start to feel any sort of calm until I was sitting next to Jace. For some reason, knowing he's right next to me makes me feel better.

Something looks up with him though. I can feel him staring at me, but every time I go to look at him, he quickly averts his stare. I don't even know.

Now, Jace might act like he's dumb, but in reality, he's actually really smart. He's got a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest people in our class. Granted, he acts like he's dumb, but whenever any of the teachers call on him when he isn't paying attention, he doesn't hesitate to answer. And he's always right. Which makes me so angry and I don't even know why.

I decided I won't be able to focus on the lesson we're doing, I already know this anyways, so I take out my sketchbook. I begin drawing randomly, and who would have thought, it's another picture of Jace. And I get the real thing staring at my drawing as well.

"So, can't stop the fan art, can you, Carrots?" He whispers, his breath tickling my neck.

"Oh shut up, it's not like I'm trying to draw you, it just happens." I snap back at him, trying and failing to keep my voice from getting all breathy.

He accidentally lets a smile slip out, before quickly covering it up with a smirk. I try and keep the surprise out of my features, but I can tell he still knows. I feel that irritating blush creep up on my neck. He just cocks one eye brow up. God, I wish I could do that.

He starts to say something but is cut off by the intercom systems loud crackle, then the principle, Mr. Hallmark's, voice.

"Students, please remain calm. This is a Code Red situation. This is not a drill. Teachers, please follow the Code Red situation guidelines, and remain in your classrooms until further notice."

The intercom crackles after his voice cuts off, and then stops altogether.

Mrs. Blackthorn just stares at the intercom in shock for a second, before glancing over to her desk where she has a picture of herself, her husband, and their many kids. She pales, then collects herself and calmly walks to the door, locks it, then turns off the lights. She proceeds to call roll but I'm not listening past once my name is called.

I start hyperventilating, not really realizing it until Jace's hand it gripping my arm.

"Clary, Clary are you alright?" He asks, actual concern in his voice.

I come out of my daze and take a deep breath, then look at him. Nobody has noticed my almost mental breakdown, which is good. When I look at his face, it's different than I've ever seen it before.

His eyes are soft, all of his arrogance gone, replaced by concern. He looks like he's actually worried about me.

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. And not just because I was hyperventilating.

Nobody but Simon and Izzy know about my severe fear of guns.

Years ago, the year I moved here, one night people broke into my house. Luke was shot in the shoulder, while my mother and I hid in the closet. I've been afraid of guns ever since. I'm always afraid that I'm going to lose someone I'm close to.

His hand reaches up and caresses my cheek. His eyes moving from my eyes, to my lips. And before I really know what's happening, he's leaning closer, and closer. Until…

The static breaks us out of whatever almost just happened. Mr. Hallmarks voice growing louder to cover up the static.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I appreciate your patience. The person who was responsible for this has been taken with the police. We have decided that ending the school day here would be best for all. An email will go out to all parents informing them of this incident. Have a nice weekend!" He says.

And on that happy note, I quickly gather my stuff and all but rush out of the room, and don't stop until I get to my locker, where I throw everything in my bag before continuing running to my car. I didn't even realize how long we were just staring at each other until we were broken out of it.

I call Izzy once I get in the car, telling her I just need to stop at home then I'll be at her house.

Once I hang up I let out the breath I hadn't realize I'd been holding, then rest my head on the steering wheel. I sit like that for a few moments then shake myself to clear my thoughts, and then head home.

**Jace p.o.v.**

What the hell was that!? First, Clary starts to hyperventilate, and then we almost kiss!? What is going on!? Except, I wanted to kiss her, badly. I had wanted it more than I'd wanted anything in my life.

I don't know what's happening. I don't get feelings for girls. But I want to have them, for Clary. I want _her. _

_What am I saying!? I don't want anyone!_

_ That's a lie. You want her._

_ No I don't!_

_ Yes, you really do._

_ Enough! I'm done with this!_

I decide I just need to sleep, so I quickly shuck off my shirt and shorts and fall asleep on top of my covers.

**Clary p.o.v.**

"Then what happened!?" Izzy excitedly quizzed me.

"We might have almost…" I start.

"Almost what!?"

"Kissed…" I say, lowering my eyes to the couch, taking great interest in the black fabric. I can feel the blush heating up my face.

"I KNEW IT! I ALWAYS KNEW YOU TWO WERE DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER!" Izzy all but screams. Bouncing up and down on the couch.

I proceed to tackle her to stop her from saying anymore. Just because it's eleven pm, Jace and Alec have a high possibility of being awake.

I called my mom and Luke right when I got home. They wanted to come back straight away but I didn't let them. They deserved this, so I told them I would be fine at Izzy's, and she left it, thankfully.

"Izzy!" I hiss at her. "Shut up! I don't need Jace knowing I've told you about this. He's still the biggest ass hat in the world."

Speak of the devil, Jace comes into the room, wearing only a pair of sweatpants, and I'm hoping, boxers. I try and fail not to stare at his six-pack.

He sees me staring and smirks before saying, "I heard my name, anything I can do for you two ladies?"

Before I can respond, Izzy bounds up and says, "Yes, actually! We were about to watch a movie, and wanted to know if you and Alec wanted to join us,"

"I'm in." He says.

"Great! I'll go get Alec!" She says before basically running away, leaving Jace and I alone.

"Isn't she the eager one, huh, Red?" He says.

I finally say my first words of this whole conversation. "Yeah, I have no idea why." While trying to be nonchalant.

He chuckles at my attempts, and comes and sits next to me, his amber eyes never breaking focus from mine. Once he sits, I realize I'm wearing spandex, and a tank top. I quickly cross my arms over my lack of chest.

He notices this of course, and swallows slowly. He starts to say something but is cut off by a grinning Izzy and a still rather confused Alec in tow.

She pops in some random movie and sits next to me, bringing Alec next to her.

I must have dozed off at some point, because when I wake up, I'm leaning on Jace, well, more of laying on him, while one of his arms is behind his head, and his other is wrapped around me. His deep and even breathing tells me he's asleep.

Izzy fell asleep on Alec. Poor guy. Who by now had changed into sweatpants and a T-shirt. They're on the other couch. The TV is off, which means it must be early in the morning.

I don't notice too much more because the warmth and safety of Jace is pulling me back under.

**A./N. Soooo, whaddya think? Hehe, I gave you some almost Clace, I'm hoping it made you mad when I denied you full Clace.**

**Anyone? No? Just me?**

**Well alright then.**

**As always, rate, review, favorite, follow. All that jazz.**

**And if any of you are fans of the Unearthly Series, that is where I got the "Carrots" nickname from.**

**Always,**

**Mari**


	6. Chapter 6

**A./N. Well hi! The amount of views from yesterday went up by two hundred, and the reviews, follows, and favorites all went up as well! So thanks! It means sososososo much! Anywho, here is chapter six. I thought since I kept you on the edge of your seat (Well I hope I did) I would give you the next chapter! School starts for me in a couple weeks, then dance starts soon after that, so soon I'm going to be able to update only once a week probably. Which I'm sorry about.**

**Anyways, on to the story!**

**After this disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. All things TMI go to Cassandra Clare.**

**Clary p.o.v.**

I am woken by soft voices murmuring. I notice quickly that Jace is still asleep, so I, as best as I can, detangle myself from him, and walk out into the main hallway, being as quiet as I can.

When I get out there I see something that both surprises me and angers me. I guess what I thought was murmuring was something else.

There, in the hallway, is Simon and Izzy, playing tonsil hockey with each other.

I kind of just gape like a goldfish for a few seconds before I clear my throat, deciding I didn't need to see my two best friends invading each other's mouths.

The both sprung apart from each other like they were poison; their faces turning red.

I just stood there with my arms crossed and an expectant look on my face.

"Clary! I- uh can explain!" Simon stuttered; his classes crooked.

"We- we were uh…" Izzy's attempts at trying to explain their actions no better than Simon's.

"Look, I don't care that you two are together, every single one of us have been waiting for this to happen. It's that neither of you thought you could tell me! I'm your best friend!" I say to them.

They both averted their eyes from both me and each other.

Simon speaks first. "It's not like we didn't _want _to tell you, Clary. We just wanted to wait until we'd been together longer. We've only been seeing each other a m-…" Then he gets cut off by Izzy jumping on him, stopping him from finishing.

"A MONTH!? You've been seeing each other A MONTH!" I try not to raise my voice too loud, I didn't want to wake anybody.

"Simon!" Izzy hisses. "I'm sorry Clary, we know we should have told you earlier, but we knew once we did, _everyone _would find out. And right now it's just easier if only we know. Now you as well. So could you just pleeassseeee not tell anyone?" She looks at me, making puppy eyes and I can't resist.

"Agh, fine. I won't tell. But if Alec finds you two one night and the next morning Simon doesn't have a head, well, I warned you." I say, before going into the kitchen for something to drink.

The both smile at me and nod before resuming making out.

Once in the kitchen I get some water. Hoping that it will help me clear my thoughts.

I shiver from the chilly air, noticing now how cold I am without Jace warming me.

I jump and almost scream when a hand touches my arm, lost in my own world I didn't even notice someone come in here.

I turn around, trying to calm my racing heart from my mini heart attack. Though it doesn't do much when I see who it was.

Jace, with his hair ruffled from sleep, his sweat pants hanging low on his hips, smiling at me, actually smiling with amusement dancing in his eyes.

I try and laugh to disguise my open staring, and set my glass down before glaring at him, albeit playfully.

"You almost gave me a heart attack! Who goes around scaring people!?" I whisper scream at him.

"I wasn't being any sort of quiet; you just have a habit of zoning out." He says back to me.

I glare at him before letting a small smile crack through.

He just stares at me, a lazy smile on his face, some emotion I can't describe in his eyes.

"You know, we really didn't get to finish what almost happened earlier. It would be a real shame if it never did." He says, getting closer to me. I notice his voice got lower, and quieter.

"It really would be…" My voice nothing more than a breathy whisper.

He gets closer and closer to me, our lips almost touching before:

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?" I hear Alec yell.

We break apart, yet again. And quickly go out into the hallway, both of our faces flushed.

**Jace p.o.v.**

Sleeping with Clary in my arms was probably the best thing in the world.

Except for kissing her, which might have happened if Alec hadn't yelled.

We both rush out into the hallway; I hope my face isn't as flushed as hers is. We then notice a very guilty looking Simon and Isabelle and a very enraged looking Alec. Now Alec is normally quiet, but when he gets mad, he gets _mad_. And he is very angry at the moment.

Clary doesn't even look surprised by this, she probably already knew.

"I can't even- I don't- what the hell is going on!?" He can't even finish his thoughts basically, this is _bad_.

"Simon and I have been seeing each other, secretly, for about a month…" Isabelle says, looking at the floor.

"A MONTH!?" Alec all but screams.

"That was my reaction too, I just found out a little earlier. I warned you two." Clary says, looking at the pair with an "I told you so" expression.

"We just didn't want everyone to know… We knew everyone would make a big deal out of it, which is true." Simon says, also looking at the floor.

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before making out IN THE HALLWAY!" Alec yells, I just notice he has his jacket and shoes on, along with is holding his car keys.

"You're also being sneaky! Going out for a late night rendezvous with Magnus, hmm?" Izzy shoots back at him.

"Well- I uh…" He stammers, caught red handed.

"So we're all keeping secrets! Jace and Clary have a little secret of their own as well." She says, evil mischief in her eyes.

My eyes go wide and my face pales; I know Clary's is doing the same.

"Wha-what are you talking about _Isabelle_?" Clary says, her eyes narrowing.

"Just the almost kiss you and Jace had earlier today, along with probably one in the kitchen." She says.

I just stare in horror. This is not happening. Please let me just be dreaming and wake up.

"You- you and Clary?" Alec sputters.

Simon is staring at us similarly to the way Alec is.

"Well nothing actually happened!" I say, trying to defend us.

"I- uh, I'm going to bed." Clary says, before rushing off.

"Me too…" I say, and then all but run away.

**Clary p.o.v.**

I run into the guest bedroom right next to Izzy's and lock the door. Then slide down the wall and sit against it, my head in my hands.

Someone knocking on the door makes me get up. I unlock it to find Izzy, holding the hand of Simon who's behind her.

"Look Clary, I'm sorry to throw you under the bus like that. It's just; I needed to diffuse Alec before he did something drastic, like call our parents. I'm sorry." She says, sincerely.

I sigh, and then answer. "It's fine Iz, it would have happened eventually. But I'm tired now, so I'm going to sleep. You to go enjoy… Whatever it is you're going to do."

They both smile and nod before going into Izzy's room. I close the door and walk over to the bed. I take off my spandex then I get in and try and fall asleep.

An hour later I decide enough is enough, and I go to Jace's room.

I knock, and then when nobody answers, I walk in.

Jace is asleep, on top of his covers. I notice he decided to ditch his sweatpants, leaving him in only boxers. Again I try and fail not to stare at his six-pack.

He doesn't stir when I close the door, and only moves a little when I get on the bed with him. I turn on my side so I can see him better, and just stare at him for a bit.

His carved chin and cheekbones, the angle of his nose, the curve of his mouth. How the light coming in from his window dances across his golden hair. I notice his face lacks its usual hardness, sleep softening his features.

I scoot closer until I'm touching him. He stirs just a little before opening his eyes.

He looks surprised at first, but he also looks like he expected this. He doesn't jerk away, just brings his arm around me to pull me closer.

"Jace, I…" I start but he cuts me off by kissing me.

And it's everything I've been secretly, and not so secretly, been hoping for.

He moves so he's over me, and I wrap my arms around his neck, tugging at his soft hair.

It's passionate, and I never want it to end. And when it does, we're both out of breath.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He says.

"I think I can guess." I say, biting my lip before bringing him back down to me.

**A./N. HEYYY! I hope you liked it! I was going to be a meanie and not let you get the Clace you've been waiting for, but decided against it. And to all you Sizzy lovers, that was for you. I had decided to do that yesterday while I was writing chapter five, and thought it would be a great idea. Soooo, yeah! Rate, review, follow, favorite, all of that good stuff. **

**Always,**

**Mari**


	7. Chapter 7

**A./N. Well hey everybody! I hope you all liked the last chapter, I did. Well, I'm rather biased about it sooooo. Anyways, here's chapter seven! I hope you all like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot, the rest goes to Cassandra Clare.**

**Clary p.o.v.**

I'm pulled from my sleep by someone drawing patterns on my back. I try and ignore them but the tickling sensation they're creating won't let me sleep.

I'm also very warm, which isn't usual when I wake up, I'm usually cold.

I start to stir and the hand that was drawing the shapes stills, then resumes when I relax.

I open my eyes to see Jace looking intently at me. His arm stops drawing and curls around me protectively when I move closer to him.

"Hi." I say to him.

"Hi." He says back, smiling.

He closes the rest of the distance between us and kisses me, slowly and lazily.

I let myself be absorbed by him before the events of last night come crashing back.

I couldn't sleep, I came in here, and we made out, and then fell asleep.

I breathe out a sigh of relief when I realized nothing _too _big happened.

My heart rate quickens when I think about the night.

Finally letting go of all the emotions I had kept inside, it was amazing.

Jace breaks the kiss off, and is about to say something when I stop him by kissing him. I don't want this moment to end, not ever. I don't want to go back to regular life, to the pain, and guilt it ensues. The profound want to just be _with_ himkeeping me from thinking about anything else.

He relaxes immediately, and rolls me onto my back so he's over me. He deepens the kiss, and I wrap my legs around his waist, bringing him closer. He breaks off and starts kissing my neck when Izzy barges in.

"AGH MY EYES!" She yells, swiftly covering her face.

Jace flips onto his back, his face going red. _Is he blushing? Since when does Jace blush?_

I know of course my face is just as red, most likely worse.

"Izzy!" Jace hisses. "What are you doing!? Have you never heard of knocking?!"

"Well I didn't expect you two to be making babies with the door unlocked!" She says back.

I cut in before Jace replies. "We were not _making babies_! Nothing of that sort was or had been happening!"

"Oh." She replies. "While I can still pretend I saw nothing I was going to invite Clary to go shopping at noon."

"Well what time is it now?" I ask.

"Ten o'clock. You are to be downstairs and ready to go at eleven fifty five precisely! Or I will come and drag you myself." She says with a nod.

"Well I don't really have a choice, do I?" I say defeated.

"Nope! Now, I'll leave you two love birds alone, so you can finish what you've started." She says with a wink before closing the door.

I sigh and fall back onto the bed, my hands covering my face.

I'm aware of Jace mumbling something before he turns his attention back to me, prying my hands off my face.

"Come on, Clary. It could have been worse. Alec could have found us." Jace says.

"And how would that have been worse?" I reply.

"Ummmmm….." He searches for an answer.

"Exactly." I say.

I look over him, remembering that picture on his night stand.

"Jace, who are those people in the picture?" I ask him.

His face changes, he recovers quickly, but not quickly enough.

"That's my parents." He says quietly. "They died when I was ten. Fire."

"I'm so sorry Jace." I say, tears prickling my eyes from my own memories of fire. I caress his cheek and he leans his face into my hand.

"It's fine, it happened years ago." He says, looking away from me. I let my hand drop.

He's acting like he's alright, but I know he's not. I can see the pain in him.

"No, it's not. Trust me, I know." I say to him.

He looks at me, a question he doesn't need to say aloud in his eyes.

"Before I moved here, we lived in Los Angeles. My parents, me, and my brother, Jonathan." I don't look at him, even though I can feel him staring at me.

"I didn't know you had a brother." He says, quietly.

"I _did_ have a brother. There was a fire. Our whole house burned down, my brother was trapped inside." I say, the tears I was fighting starting to escape.

I finally look at him, expecting anything but what I saw.

There was kindness, and empathy. He just reached up and brushed away the tears, running his thumb across my cheek.

Once I started I couldn't stop. All the terrors that had haunted me for years. I told him about the fire, and my fear of guns. He never acted like I was a baby; he just sat, listening to all of it. And after I had finished, he just took me in his arms and held me, letting me cry into his chest. His warmth and steady heart eventually calming me.

He stroked my hair gently, soothing me back to normal.

I knew I must look a mess, but he didn't care, or acted like he didn't.

I looked up at him, into his face. A person who for so long had been mean to me. And now there was this guy, who didn't insult me, or call me names, he just _was_.

"What _happened_ to you?" I ask incredulously.

"I don't really know myself. I had been fighting what I've felt for you, and when you came in here last night, I just stopped. Stopped fighting and let myself _feel_ for once." He says softly, looking into my eyes.

I reach up and caress his face, still not really believing how different he is. Running my hand through his soft locks.

"You didn't deserve what happened to your parents." I say.

"Like I said, it it's fine, it happened years ago." He says firmly.

"Losing both your parents, at once, and while you're ten, isn't fine." I say just as firmly back to him.

"I let what I was feeling out to you, now you do the same."

"I-I can't." He says, looking away.

"Yes you can, and you will." I bring my hand up and turn his face so he's looking at me again.

I check the clock and mentally curse Izzy, 11:25. I need _at least _fifteen minutes to get ready, which would leave me with only fifteen minutes left.

I sigh, and then say, "Okay, you won't be telling me now. But when I get back, you are telling me." I say to him.

He sighs as well, and then agrees.

I smile and him and get up, though I don't want to leave the warmth of his embrace.

"You're forgetting something." Jace says.

I look back at him and he's waggling his eyebrows, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

"Oh, just because we've kissed means you get one every time I leave?" I ask him.

"That is exactly what it means." He says matter of factly.

I roll my eyes and peck him quickly on the lips, dodging him and he tries to pull me back to him.

I look over my shoulder one last time at him before I leave. Jace is sitting there, smiling like a naughty school boy.

I roll my eyes again and head over to the guest room.

When I get in there I immediately go to the bathroom and turn on the shower, not even looking at the mirror.

After I turn it on, I strip and get in, not caring if it had warmed up or not.

Bad idea, I jump back from the icy cold spray, and wait until it's a proper temperature.

Even now my thoughts turn to Jace. I smile and shake my head and start showering.

**Jace p.o.v.**

I can't help the smile that invades my face. I haven't been as happy as I have been with Clary in a long time.

I don't know what made her come into my room last night, but I'm thankful none the less. If she hadn't come and lie down, I would never have kissed her. It wouldn't have mattered if she even came in, the fact that she came to my room was enough for me.

And now, I really don't know what we are. We aren't dating, but we aren't _not _dating.

I still can't stop smiling all the way to the kitchen, where I smell something cooking.

My smile drops when I see Isabelle, instantly turning into a scowl.

She just grins at me, full well knowing I'm still mad at her, but not caring.

I also notice that Rat-boy left, he must've snuck out sometime this morning.

I walk over and grab some food, not knowing who's cooking, also not really caring.

"Soooo, Jace." Izzy starts.

"Ohhhh no, don't even start Izzy." I quickly snap back.

"What? I was just going to ask if you _slept_ alright." She asks innocently, putting extra emphasis on the _slept_.

I just glare at her and go over to sit at the table. As far from her as I can get.

I quickly changed the topic, successfully taking Izzy's focus away from Clary and I, until the object of my affection herself walks through the door.

**A./N. Hey guys! Hope you liked the chapter! I know it wasn't really that interesting; it was more of a filler. So I'm sorry about that. Regardless, I still hope you liked it! Rate/review/follow/favorite always!**

**Always,**

**Mari**


	8. Chapter 8

**A./N. Well hello there my lovelies! I hope y'all liked the last chapter! I wasn't really sure what I was going to do in it, but it worked out. I had to write out what I was going to do for this and next chapter, because last one I started to get a little writers block, but it's gone now so yay! This chapter is probably rated M. Anyways, on to the story! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot, everything else goes to Cassandra Clare.**

**Clary p.o.v.**

I check my phone, 2:30 pm. I sigh and put it back in my pocket. We've been shopping for two and a half hours, and I have more clothes than I think I'll ever need.

Though shopping is better than Izzy embarrassing Jace and I this morning.

_I walked into the kitchen to see Izzy sitting across from Jace, Alec cooking, and Simon nowhere to be found. I take the seat next to Jace, as Alec hands me some food then takes the other seat next to Jace with his own breakfast._

_ I see the look Izzy is giving Jace and I know she's going to start something._

_ "Clary, I was just asking Jace if he __**slept **__alright, did you __**sleep **__alright?" She asks, looking all innocent._

_ "Yes, I did sleep alright, wonderfully actually." I answer her simply._

_ She looks startled for the moment that I don't act embarrassed, then continues on._

_ "It's just; most people don't get a lot of sleep when they're not in their own room." She says evilly._

_ My mouth drops to the floor, I'm sure Jace's does as well. My face heats up hotter than a burning flame._

_ "Iz-Izzy!" Jace sputters._

_ I just stare in shock before collecting myself and answering back, "Well then Simon must have gotten no sleep at all." I smile just as evilly._

_ She just looks at me, her expression saying "touché"._

_ We hear Alec make a noise and look over to him; I almost forgot he was there._

_ His face was beet red and he looked like he was about to explode. We all ran out of the kitchen as fast as we could, knowing things were about to get ugly._

I shake my head remembering what happened after that. Alec started yelling again, and Jace had to wrestle him to his room while Izzy called Magnus. Magnus and Jace are the only ones who can calm him down when he's like this.

Jace talked to him for a minute before coming out, and then waited outside the door until Magnus got there.

Izzy and I crept silently out when Magnus came, after motioning to Jace that we were leaving.

Izzy finally comes out of the shop she was in, after waiting inside for thirty minutes, I had decided enough was enough, and have been waiting outside ever since.

She nods at me, showing we're done, and we head out to her car. Once we're in her car she says excitedly to me,

"Clary, guess what!? Wait; don't guess because you'll never get it! We're throwing a party tonight!" Her grin is taking up her whole face.

"There's going to be so many people, and you're going to let me get you ready, so that Jace won't be able to resist your sexiness!"

"I- I uh…" I say, not knowing really how I'm supposed to reply.

"Great! Now let's hurry home, so we can get started right away!" She says, I guess that was good enough for her.

An hour and a half later, though who really knows how long it took, I'm dressed, my hair and makeup done, and wobbling around Izzy's room in five inch heels.

Izzy put me in a skin tight shirt, excuse me, dress, that was silver and hugged all my "curves". She made my eyes smokey, and made my unruly curls look elegant, cascading down my back. She then gave me red lipstick to make them pop. To top it off, she gave me five inch black stilettoes, which I've been wobbling around her room in for the past ten minutes.

"Izzy, I don't think I'm going to be able to walk, much less dance in these." I say, keeping my eyes on my feet.

"Nonsense! You're already better than you were before." She says, not letting me bargain my way down to lower inches. I had to argue for twenty minute's straight just to get her to let me wear anything less than seven inches.

Izzy, of course, looks flawless. She's wearing a deep red dress, which barely reaches her mid-thighs, which gives her even more curves than she has, her hair is in an elegant up do, and her makeup is all somehow red, without looking trashy. Her heels are so high I have no idea how many inches they are.

She looks like a supermodel about to walk down the runway.

"You're ready!" She says, even though I very much so am not.

She grabs my wrist and hauls me out the door of her room, and takes me down the hallway, where, I see the house has transformed.

What once was a classy, elegant mansion, is now a raving club with possibly 150 people, maybe more, all around.

_This is not going to end well._

**Jace p.o.v.**

I'm standing by the staircase, finally taking a break from the "dancing" and nursing my drink. Thank God the Lightwoods live more outside the city, or we would be in deep trouble.

We have designated people waiting outside for drunken teenagers, making sure to call cabs for those who won't be able to drive home. Or we have them crash in the many spare bedrooms.

I hear someone chattering excitedly and look up to see Izzy; and someone else.

_ That's Clary!_

My eyes widen when I see her. She looks absolutely beautiful. She always does, but this is different. I immediately put my drink on an empty space and rush over to greet them.

I lock eyes with her and offer my arm, not caring what Izzy's saying. Clary says something to Izzy before I whisk her off into the pulsing crowd, near the center of the living room.

I pull her close to me and look down at her, meeting her emerald eyes with mine.

"You look stunning." I say to her.

Her cheeks redden before she answers. "Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself."

I smile and kiss her, not wanting to wait anymore. She immediately deepens it, not being hesitant as we have been previously.

Her arms wrap around my neck and I wrap my around her waist, pulling her even closer to me.

Throughout the night we're never more than two feet from each other. And by the end of the night we're both rather wasted, though I'm a lot more sober than she is.

I take her up to my room, then close and lock the door.

I press her against it, and she wraps her legs around my waist. My hands start roaming her body, and hers pull and tug on my hair.

I groan and carry her to my bed, dropping her down on it and then hovering over her.

I break apart from her before looking in her eyes and asking that one important question.

_Are you sure you want to?_

She just nods, her eyes a darker green than normal.

I don't hesitate after that.

Our clothes are on the floor in seconds, and then my memory is pretty fuzzy after that.

**Clary p.o.v.**

I wake up not in my room at the Lightwoods. With something warm around my stomach and waist. Then the events of last night come rushing back.

_Jace and I had a lot to drink, we came to his room, and then…_

I feel my eyes widen right as my stomach starts churning dangerously.

I run out of his bed with one hand covering my mouth and the other opening his bathroom.

I make it to the toilet just in time to spill the contents of my stomach.

I hear the door open and know who it is. After it stops, I rest my head on the lid and look over to him.

Jace put on a pair of boxers thankfully before coming in here.

He walks over and leans down, caressing my cheek.

"Can't hold your liquor too well can ya, Little Red?" He says, trying and failing not to let a small smile peek through.

I try to make a face at him and say, "Shut up, I'm underage; I'm not supposed to be able to."

He chuckles before scooping me up in his arms and carrying me back into his room. He drops me gently on his bed before going and flushing the toilet. He comes back with a cup of water for me to drink.

"Drink this, you're dehydrated and when you're hung-over you have to eat and drink or else you'll feel worse."

I take it happily and gulp it down. I notice I'm still naked, though I don't really care at the moment.

"And how do you know what to do? You're underage as well." I say to him.

"Yes, but I've been to parties before."

I'm about to say something witty back when a sliver of a though has me stopping in my tracks.

"Jace, di-did we use protection?" I ask quietly.

His face immediately pales and his eyes widen as he stares down at me.

**A./N. MWUHAHAHAHA! I left you on a cliffie. Well, sorta. I know what's going to happen, but YOU don't! HAHAAHAHAH!**

**I'm weird, it happens. Yeah…..**

**Anyways, I hope y'all liked it! Rate/review/favorite/follow as per usual!**

**Always,**

**Mari**


	9. Chapter 9

**A./N. Wow! Thank you all for your reviews, follows, favorites, and views! 2,135 views! That's awesome! I can't believe how many there are! It's crazy to me to see people actually liking my writing! Anyways, I hope y'all liked the cliffie I left you on (insert evil laugh) and now here's chapter nine!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. The rest goes to the fantabulous Cassandra Clare.**

**Jace p.o.v.**

It's been a week since Clary and I, you know, slept together. We've still been hanging out, but I'm sure she can tell as well that there's something holding me back.

We only told Izzy, because we knew we could trust her. We didn't waste any time, aside from getting dressed. Then we brought her to my room and told her. And then I got a mark on my cheek just the size and shape of Izzy's hand.

She yelled at me for taking advantage of Clary; then Clary interjected that I didn't. I'm sure Izzy still blames me for it; hell, _I _blame me for it. If I had been sober, we never would have been wondering whether or not I was smart enough to wear a condom.

I mean, let's face it, I'm not a virgin. I might only be sixteen, but I'm not a virgin.

Clary, on the other hand, was. Which makes me feel horrible that I A, took her virginity, and B, was drunk while I did. She hasn't said anything about it, but I know it's on her mind.

Now Clary's been so preoccupied that she hasn't made me spill my guts about my past, which I'm not protesting to. Only the Lightwoods know about my past, and I want to keep it that way.

School is tomorrow, and I haven't been able to work on any of my weekend homework considering I'm freaking out at the fact that Clary might be pregnant.

She's coming over today, so that she can help me "study" for our test in English, but I'm pretty sure there isn't going to be any studying.

My phone beeps on my night stand, telling me I have a text.

_Good news, I'm not pregnant. We can relax._

I breathe out a sigh of relief after reading the text from Clary. I reply back while flipping onto my stomach on my bed.

_Thank God. If you had been I don't know what I would have done, I'm NOT ready to be a father, not now._

She replies back within seconds.

_I know how you feel, I have no idea how I would have told my parents, much less what the school would have done._

We text for about half an hour until she says she has to go. She's coming around one, and it's eleven right now, so I have two hours until then.

I decide a nap sounds perfect right now, so I put my phone on my night stand, and instantly fall asleep once my head hits the pillow.

**Clary p.o.v.**

Now most girls hate getting their period; I for one couldn't be happier that I got mine.

Knowing I'm not going to be like those girls on "16 and Pregnant", or "Teen Mom", makes me ecstatic.

If I had been pregnant, there's no way I would have been able to A, get an abortion or B, give it up for adoption.

I have nothing against either; I just wouldn't have been able to.

It's around eleven when Jace and I stop texting, and I decide I need some alone time with my sketchbook.

I've been drawing Jace more and more these days, and I've also been thinking less about the fire. It's like since Jace and I became whatever we are, he's been taking the bad out of my life, replacing it with joy.

That reminds me, today I'm going to grill him on his family and past, like I promised I would, then totally forgot about with the whole pregnancy scare thing.

I grab my colored pencils and my sketchbook, sitting on my bed, and start to draw. I get into the zone, not realizing how long I was drawing for until I look at the clock.

12:40

_Shit._

I look down to see that drawing that I've actually completed, and of course, it's Jace again. I close my sketchbook and grab my stuff before saying a quick goodbye to my parents and heading out to my car.

I get to the Lightwoods house right on time, and don't bother with knocking, knowing by now there isn't a point.

Izzy Is most likely doing illicit things with Simon in her room, and Alec has been sneaking out at night more and more to see Magnus, which is what he was doing last weekend. So I'm probably fine.

I head right inside, not bothering with being quiet; it's one in the afternoon.

I head up the stairs and down the hall to Jace's room. Now is where I'm quiet.

I open the door slowly and softly, to see he's passed out on his bed. Face down on top of his covers.

I put my stuff on his desk then tip toe over to his bed. As quietly and as softly as I can, I get on the bed, leaning over him. This is the part where I have fun.

I start lightly tickling his sides, which I've learned from Izzy is the best way to disable him.

He starts to stir then jerks awake, flipping onto his back and rolling me so I'm under him.

His face shows surprise and playful anger. He grins evilly when he sees it's me.

"Jace… Don't you dare… Jace!" I say, getting scared by what I know is coming next.

**Jace p.o.v.**

To say that I was surprised is an understatement. Izzy was going to pay for telling Clary how ticklish I am.

I didn't realize how long I slept until my sides were tickling and I felt someone on the bed. My instincts took over and I flipped around, and rolled over; surprised to see a little red head beneath me.

She must have noticed the shock on my face because for a second she looked triumphant, then my face changed and she knew what was next.

I started tickling her all over, pinning her with my body so she couldn't escape. She was crying from laughing so hard, so I stopped, but before she could recover I kissed her.

She stiffened from surprise for a second, and then relaxed. I knew not much studying would come from this, but I didn't need to study anyways, I never do.

She pushed on my and I let her move me, rolling me back onto my back so she was straddling my hips. I made a noise of appreciation and grabbed her hips with my hands.

Then, quick as lightning, she jumped off me and the bed, mischief covering her face.

I knew that she could see the shock on my face, and before I could ask her what she was doing she said,

"If you want to get any farther, you're going to have to catch me first." She smiled evilly then flew out of the room, leaving me startled and frustrated.

I knew we basically had the house to ourselves, so I ran after her, not thinking about how fast she actually is, with her being so small. I'm a whole foot taller than her.

She was already to the stairs when I got out of the room, and heading down the hallway to the other guest rooms and basement when I was down them.

A flash of red was the only thing telling me where she was. I saw the basement door slam shut and knew she went down there.

I ran to it and flew down the stairs, not expecting to then have someone jump on my back, and cover my eyes.

"Now, unless you want to walk into a wall, do exactly as I say." She whispered in my ear.

I made a noise of protest and she just made and "ah ah ah" noise, warning me.

She instructed me until we got into the middle of the room; the she crawled like a koala to the front of me, and told me to sit. Then I was allowed to open my eyes.

I noticed we were in the basement, on one of the couches. I also had a Clary sitting on my lap.

Then nothing else mattered because we were kissing again, and I moved so she was on her back and I was over her again.

Her legs wrapped around my hips, bringing me closer to her, and her arms went around my neck while my hands roamed her body. She moved her hands and started running her nails up and down my back.

Our mouths were warring for dominance when we heard someone clearing their throat, trying to get our attention.

I ignore it until they do it again, knowing that whoever it is won't leave until they get what they want, so I break off and look over the back of the couch to see Izzy, Rat-Face, Alec, and Magnus, all looking at us with amused and annoyed expressions.

"Not that I really care what you two do in your spare time, or want to know, but could you at least take it somewhere that isn't for everyone, thanks." Izzy says, slightly annoyed at our public PDA.

She smiles in a way I know will make me regret her existence.

"Just because you two aren't worried about what happened at the party anymore, doesn't mean we should have to see how you celebrate."

All of our mouths, except for Izzy's, drop to the floor.

Clary makes a noise, and I just pick her up, turning her so she's on my back, and say, "Well maybe if we weren't so worried about having to hear you and Simon moaning from your room, we wouldn't be in the basement."

She just opens her mouth and gapes at me while Simon freezes.

I look behind me before we go up the stairs to see Magnus talking quietly to Alec whose face is in his hands. Simon and Izzy are still how they were when we left them.

I can feel Clary laughing on my back and can't help but laugh along with her, knowing Izzy is going to have a lot to say later.

**A./N. Ta-dah! I can't help but be sassy while writing this; I'm a very sassy person in real life so it transpires into my writing.**

**I hope y'all liked the chapter! Rate/review/follow/favorite as usual, I love hearing what you think!**

**Always,**

**Mari**


	10. Chapter 10

**A./N. Hey everyone! I'm so glad you all have been liking the story so far! And I'm sorry for not posting yesterday, but I had Freshman Orientation so I was surprisingly tired. But now I'm good and I know what I'll be doing next chapter as well! Today is the last day of almost daily updates, as school starts in less than a week, so I will be starting updates every week on Sunday.**

**Disclaimer: I only own the plot; the rest goes to Cassandra Clare.**

**Clary p.o.v.**

Jace keeps me on his back the whole way to the kitchen. Not that I'm complaining, I enjoy him carrying me around.

Once we get in there he sets me on the counter and doesn't hesitate to resume what was abruptly stopped in the basement.

I don't know how long we were kissing for, but I'm rather thankful someone clears their throat, or else things might have gotten out of hand.

We break apart and look to the doorway.

My face burns when I see who it is, though Jace seems unfazed by being caught.

"Maryse! I didn't know you were coming home today!" He says.

"I was able to come home early, and was going to surprise all of you, though it seems I'm the one who was surprised." She says knowingly, her gaze traveling to me quickly before resting back on Jace.

"Hah, yeah..." He says, looking down. His hand reaches up to scratch the back of his head. I can see the beginning of a blush on his cheeks.

I take that as my cue to talk, knowing things will just get worse if I stay silent.

I jump down and turn to face Maryse Lightwood.

The resemblance between Isabelle and her mother has always been striking.

Maryse is a taller, bonier version of her daughter. She has the same black hair as her children and striking blue eyes as Alec. Her son also got her bone structure as well.

I clear my throat and look at her. She shifts her gaze to me again, her eyes showing some surprise. She must not have realized it was me before.

"Hi, Mrs. Lightwood." I say rather sheepishly.

"Oh! Clary, it's great to see you. Though normally you're with my daughter, not my son." Her mouth trying to hide a small smile, but failing.

I smile at her, and then look back down.

"Jace, can you please go and tell your siblings that I'm home?"

"Sure, I'll go get them." He says, leaving the kitchen.

I follow after him, not wanting to have to be alone with his mother, after what we were previously doing.

I mentally slap myself at my lack of ability to choose better places to have my mouth invaded.

I sigh, and then continue following Jace.

**Jace p.o.v.**

I didn't expect to see my adoptive mother in the doorway, three days before she was due to be home. I also didn't expect to be found by her, with my tongue in Clary's mouth.

So later, after we all had welcomed Maryse home, I stole Clary away and brought her to my room.

Needless to say, there was still not much studying done.

I was also surprised when she stopped me, which she does not normally do.

"Jace, you never told me about your parents." She says quietly, laying her head on my chest. Her head was the only part of her body that wasn't still on top of me.

I brought my arms around her, and then answered.

"Clary, I told you about my parents already. They died in a fire, end of story."

"No, not end of story. How did you end up with the Lightwoods then?" She says firmly.

"My parents were family friends with the Lightwoods, and when they died, the Lightwoods took me in, adopting me soon after." I say, relenting.

"I'm sorry." She says, looking into my eyes.

"It's not your fault, you didn't do anything." I say, looking away.

"I know, I'm still sorry though. Why don't you use their last name?" She asks me.

"I didn't want to lose my past, so I chose to keep my last name, but I'm also legally a Lightwood." I tell her.

She just nods and strokes my hair. It's weird. I've never told anyone outside of the Lightwood's about my past. I don't like to think of it. I'd rather just pretend that I care only about myself, instead of letting people care about me.

She doesn't ask me why I act like a jerk; I think she knows without me having to tell her. She just lets me be, allowing me to keep some things to myself.

All too soon she says she has to go, though I'm able to keep her for another ten minutes.

When she does leave, she gives me a chaste kiss then heads out. I just lie on my bed, a smile on my face, content for the moment with what I have.

**Clary p.o.v.**

I didn't realize how tired I was until I finally got home.

The constant worrying had kept me from getting a good night's sleep, but I didn't even notice until now.

Once I get home, my parents had gone to bed already, both tired from their work. I wonder how my mom's tired, but I decide I don't want to know if there's another reason.

I head straight to my room, shucking out of my clothes, and changing into my pj's.

I call Izzy, needing some time with her. She answers after the first ring.

"Clary! I was just about to call you!" She says, sounding totally awake.

I chuckle quietly, before answering her.

"That's crazy, Iz. I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever, even though I saw you today."

"I know right! It's cause you've been with Jace for the majority. Don't even try and deny it!" She says.

"I know, I know. You're right. I've been slacking, Izzy. A lot has been on my mind the last week." I say.

"That's true. I've also been with Simon a lot, so I haven't been free either."

"Are you two dating yet? Or are you just "seeing each other"?" I say, knowing she can hear the air quotes.

"I really don't know. We act like we're dating, but neither of us has really asked. Lord knows I'm not going to. He's just gonna have to get over his weirdness and do it." She replies.

"Good luck with that." I say, laughing.

"You're in the same boat I am! You and Jace aren't dating, but you sure as hell aren't seeing anyone else."

"Yeah, he hasn't asked me or anything, but I'm pretty sure he will. I mean, he hasn't been hooking up with any girls since. Well, I _hope _he hasn't." I say.

"There haven't been any girls sneaking out of the house at some un-Godly hour; so I would assume that's a no."

I switch my phone to the other hand, and lie down; sitting couched on my bed is starting to hurt my back.

"That's good I guess. School hasn't really been any different, except we're nice to each other. We still both spend our free period in the courtyard, though now we usually make out during that time."

"Really; can you two not go _one day _without playing tonsil hockey? Have you no self-control?" She says, though she's really no better.

I smile and nod, then remember we're on the phone and she can't hear me.

"Well, most days we're hanging out to do homework, because he says he needs _help_, when he obviously doesn't. And then things just go downhill from there."

"Well you and I need to have a girl's day soon. I feel like we haven't hung out since last weekend. That is far too long in my book. You'll die without a healthy dose of Isabelle Lightwood." She says, matter of factly.

"Okay, whatever you want Iz." I'm not going to try and stop her. Once her mind is set, there's no changing it.

After that we fall into our usual conversation. She tells me all the gossip about people at school. How Helen Blackthorn and Aline Penhallow have both come out, and are in a relationship. Almost everyone, every _girl_, that is, knew though. None of us are really bothered by it, they're happy, which is all that matters.

We talk for two hours, I don't even notice until I look at my clock and see it's midnight.

"Izzy, I have to go. And so do you, we have school and I'm not going to be some sleep deprived monkey." I tell her.

"Well alright. If we must. I don't even understand why we _have _school. Ugh, well, night Clary, I'll see you tomorrow." Izzy says.

"Night Iz, see ya." I say, then hang up, turn off my light, and fall quickly asleep.

_ I'm in a burning house; I don't even realize it's __**my house**__ at first. Normally the nightmare starts like that day, but this time it's different._

_ I'm also not six, I'm __**me**__. Sixteen-year-old Clary, dressed in a billowy green dress. The color the same as my eyes._

_ I involuntarily inhale, and start coughing from the smoke. I hear something rustling, so I walk in the direction of the sound to find not some__**thing**__, but some__**one**__._

_ I assume it's Jonathan, but then my heart stops and my blood turns cold when I see who it really is._

_**Jace**_

_ I run to him, he's huddled in a corner, his head down._

_ I yell his name, but he doesn't hear me. My dress being torn on broken and cracked pieces of the house._

_ He starts to look up, and I get a glimpse of his amber eyes before everything turns black._

I fly to a sitting position, my breathing ragged and my heart pounding.

I look at the clock to see it's only been two hours since I went to sleep.

I put my face in my hands, trying to calm my racing heart.

Once I'm somewhat calmed down, I try to fall back asleep; a feeling of dread deep in my gut.

_It's nothing; just a feeling that crossed over from your dream._

_ Everything is fine._

_**Jace**__ is fine._

_ I hope…_

**A./N. Sooo, I hope all of you liked it! Rate/review/favorite/follow as usual!**

**Always,**

**Mari**


	11. Chapter 11

**A./N. Hey everyone! Chapter 11! It's crazy how far I've gotten. I figured no one would like my story and I'd be a sad sad person. But, it seems people like it so yay! Also some drama develops in this chapter MWUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! Now I like Clace fluff just as much as the next person, but there's gotta be a plot line. So here's the chapter! Also excuse the bad language.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot, everything else belongs to Cassandra Clare.**

**Clary p.o.v.**

The feeling in my gut only slightly receded once I got to school. These past few days whenever I would be in the presence of Jace, it calmed me. But today, it just made me feel worse.

Izzy I knew could tell something was wrong, but she didn't pry when I said it was nothing; Simon as well.

By the time school had ended, I was a twitchy, nervous wreck. I was positive something was going to happen.

I had to stay after school to finish up my Art Project, we were working on Impressionism, and so I didn't leave until an hour and a half later. Coincidentally, that's also when football practice ended.

I went out the back, because it's right near the Art room, and started walking to my car.

I was about to turn a corner when I heard voices. And not just _any _voices, Jace's and someone else's.

"Dude, can you believe Coach is making us come in an _hour _early tomorrow morning, that's so stupid." The other guy said.

"I know, Seb, it sucks." Jace said.

Ohhh, so it's Sebastian who he's talking to.

Sebastian Verlac is one of Jace's friends from football. He has dark eyes and black hair. He's tall, and surprisingly, is one of the nice Jocks. He's always been friendly to me whenever I see him.

"So… What's the deal with you and that Clary chick?" Sebastian asks. My breath catches when he asks this.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Jace asks, his voice wavering.

"You know what I mean, you and she were practically _inseparable_ at the party, and I know you took her to your room as well. Now since then you two have been all eyes and smiles, and have been sneaking around during lunch and free period. So…What's the deal? Was she just some random fuck or…?" He asks.

_Damn, how does he know all this stuff?_

"She doesn't mean _anything _to me. She was just a lay who I wouldn't mind getting with again. She's easier to get into than a Community College. We got drunk, had sex and that was it. We meet up during school to fulfill each other's physical needs, but that's _it_." Jace says, actual _venom _in his words.

I cover my mouth to muffle the sob that escapes me; my breath hitching and strangled. My eyes are burning and I run as fast as I can to my car, hoping they don't notice me. I look back once to see them still talking, not disturbed.

Once I get in my car, I rest my head on the steering wheel and sob freely, my heart clenching and hurting at what he said.

_I actually thought he __**cared **__about me. Everything he said, it was all lies. He lied there too. He basically called me a __**slut**__._

I'm making tortured sounds that normally would sound funny if I weren't so overwhelmed by feelings I didn't even know _existed_.

_This is why I don't let many people in, all that happens is I get hurt. From now on, I only worry about me, and my friends. Jace Herondale can go fuck with some other girl, but not me. I'm __**Done**__._

I wipe my face, trying to salvage my minimal makeup, and then head home.

Once there, I say hi to Luke and my Mom, then head to my room. Once there, I call Izzy, needing her comfort.

She picks up on the third ring.

"Hello?" She says.

"I-Izzy?" I say, my voice wavering with a new set of tears.

"Clary! What's wrong!? What happened!? Are you okay!?" She says, starting a new question before I have time to answer the previous one.

"Ja-Jace-" I start but she cuts me off. I can barely even get his name out.

"What the _HELL _did that bastard do to you!? Tell me and I'll go and kick his _ASS_!" She says, her concern changing to anger.

"Co-come o-over?" I ask.

"Of course, Baby Girl. Lemme just grab my stuff and I'll be over in a few." She says.

I can always, _always_, count on Isabelle.

"Ok-okay." I say.

We both hang up and I clutch a pillow to my chest, sobbing into it.

_I really thought he'd changed. I though he actually cared about me. I guess not._

I cry harder at the thought, not thinking about anything, just letting myself float in nothingness.

**Jace p.o.v.**

Sebastian's face tells me he believes _none _of what I just said. Hell, _I _believe none of what he just said.

The thing with Sebastian is, he knows _everything_. And when I say everything, I mean, _everything_.

It doesn't matter if you told him or not, he still knows it.

I open my mouth to answer when I see a familiar car leaving the parking lot.

_Shit._

_ Clary! Oh God! She must've just heard what I said. Well, I hope she didn't. But she probably did. I remember her telling me today that she was staying late. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You just called her a whore and said that she was just another fuck. Oh, God, this is horrible._

I feel my face pale and start sliding down the wall. Once I'm sitting I put my head in my hands. _What have I done!?_

_ I just inadvertently told the girl that has made me __**feel **__something, which hasn't happened since before my parents died, and when I moved in with the Lightwoods, that she means absolutely __**nothing **__to me. Now, she hates me. And I agree with her. That was such a dick thing to say._

"Dude, are you alright?" Seb asks me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I just look up at him, and I know he can see the pain in my face. I normally am not this open with people.

"Not at all." I say simply.

"You don't really feel that way about her, I can tell that, and you know it as well. So what's stopping you from going and getting her? If you have feelings for her and she feels the same, then why not? What's the worst that could happen?" He says.

I laugh. I actually, laugh. There wasn't a problem before, but now there is _no _way she's going to want to be with me.

"The problem is, she just heard what I said about her, and now hates me. At least, I'm almost positive she hates me." I say.

His face changes to a mask of sympathy, I've known Sebastian since my first day of school, and he's always been wise and kind, which is unusual if you're following the stereotype for Jocks.

"I'm so sorry, man. I really am. But, you never know until you try, right?" He asks.

I give him a small smile, though I know he can see right through it.

We bid goodbye, us both being tired and having homework.

Once I get in my car my phone starts ringing. _Oh God, Izzy._

I know she must have talked to Clary, so this is going to be bad.

I press accept and put the phone to my ear.

_"JONATHAN CHRISTOPHER HERONDALE! WHAT IN THE LIVING __**HELL **__DID YOU DO TO CLARY!? SHE CAN BARELY TALK ON THE PHONE SO I'M HEADING TO HER HOUSE NOW, BUT OH DON'T YOU WORRY YOU AND I WILL HAVE A NICE CHAT WHEN I GET HOME LATER!" _She screams into the phone. And oh God, she used my full name. I'm screwed.

"Iz-Izzy, calm down! I know you're furious at me, I'm angry at myself too, but I didn't mean any of what I said, and I plan on going over to Clary's and talking to her tonight." I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

_"I don't even know or care for that matter what you did! All I know is that Clary could barely speak on the phone, and I'm heading there now, so you'd better come once I've left, or you can expect to have Clary see me kick your ass in her house!"_ Her voice is a little quieter, but I know she's still furious at me.

"I'll make sure I do, Izzy. I feel awful for what I said, she wasn't supposed to hear it, only Seb was, and I didn't even _mean _any of it! I don't know why I tried to lie to him, he knows everything, and can read anyone like a book." I say back, sighing.

_"You better not have meant any of it! Or I swear to God, Jace, you will regret even being BORN!"_ Her voice rises again on the last word before she hangs up on me.

I run a hand through my hair and think about what I've done.

_Well, I made the girl I love hate me._

_ Wait WHAT!?_

_ Love? No, that's impossible! I don't __**love **__Clary, we aren't even dating!_

I shake my head and try to forget what I just thought, though I know it isn't going anywhere.

_I cannot believe I just did that. I made her __**cry**__. Clary is one of the only girls I __**never**__ want to see cry._

I feel awful, though I brought it on myself. I _knew _Clary was going to be late. And I _knew _she was going to be coming out the back exit.

So… Why did I say it? There wasn't a point.

_Unless I'm just trying to keep myself from getting hurt._

_ Well, that plan went to shit pretty quickly._

I take out my phone again, calling Clary's cell.

It goes straight to voicemail.

_Great. She's already ignoring me. Now I just have to call her one hundred more times, hoping she eventually picks up. 'Cause that's going to work. Totally._

**A./N. So….? Whaddya think? Did you all LOVE the Clace drama! **

**Is it unnatural that I finish these in like an hour and a half?**

**Eh, I'm also extremely unnatural anyways, soooo Rate/review/favorite/follow! Also, the "Easier to get into than a community college thing"? My friend Addison made that up, I thought it was funny so I used it. Not that any of you care haha.**

**Always,**

**Mari**


	12. Chapter 12

**A./N. Hey! I decided since tomorrow I'll be busy, so I'm giving you all the chapter early! So yay! I hope y'all like it!**

**Disclaimer: I only own the plot; all things TMI go to Cassandra Clare.**

**Clary p.o.v.**

I was lying on my bed, not doing much of anything when Izzy got there.

"Clary! Oh my God what happened!? What did he do to you!? I'm so soory!"

Izzy was talking so fast I could barely tell what she said.

She quickly ran to my bed and flung herself down next to me, comforting me like a mother comforts a child.

"He-he…" I tried to choke out, without much success.

"Shhh, it's okay, you can tell me." She said.

"He-he said all these me-mean and ho-horrible things about me." I stutter out.

"When, and to whom?" She asks, a little quieter now.

"Se-Sebastian Verlac. They were ta-talking. They didn't he-hear me walking." I say, my shuddering sobs slowing down somewhat.

"I'm so sorry, Sweetie. I'll take that asshole down. Nobody, even Jace, gets to mess with my Clary. I don't care _what _happened between you two. Nobody gets to say bad things about my best friend." Izzy says, her tone firm.

I just nod, not trusting my voice.

Izzy stayed for two hours, until I was calmed down. She wanted to spend the night, but I wouldn't let her, she had her own things to do.

"If you need me to come back, just call. You know I will." She said.

"I'll be _fine _Iz, don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow." I tried to smile, though she knew it was forced.

She just hugged me again then left, as quietly as Izzy can.

I went back and lied down on my bed, knowing that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep until when I usually do; even though I'm exhausted.

My mom came into my room a couple minutes later, knocking softly.

"Clary, are you alright, honey?" She asked quietly.

"Not really, but I will be." I said back, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to tell her everything, either.

"Okay, Luke and I are just in the next room, if you need us." She replied.

"Okay, love you, Mom." I say.

"Love you too, Clare Bear." She smiled then left, closing my door quietly.

I just lied back down, staring at my ceiling, the glow in the dark stars not yet glowing, as it was still light outside.

I thought of all the things that had happened in the last few weeks. My life had gone from normal, to amazing, to awful, to not really anything.

Nobody had ever called me those names before; I didn't really stick out enough to be bullied. I wasn't "easy", like Jace had said, I've slept with one guy, him. If anything, he was the whore. I'm sure he's slept with half the girls in our school, maybe more. It's astounding how he hasn't gotten an STD yet. Oh God, what if he has!? We didn't use a condom!

_Woahwoahwoah, Clary! Slow down! You would have known if he did. Izzy would have said something. And if he had one, and just didn't tell anyone, then by now he would have gotten it cured, he has the money._

I just nod to myself, trying to calm down.

I just don't understand. I thought we _did _have a "thing". We definitely weren't "just friends". So why would he try and lie to _Sebastian _of all people. Sebastian knows everything. He knows it without hearing about it, he's just like that.

I just shake my head, knowing that I'll never figure him out. He's Jace, I was barely even able to break one _brick _in his wall he put up around himself. Obviously he thought that it was better everyone didn't know. That saying I was a slut who just was good for sex was easier than letting his ego and ranking in the popular scale be hurt. He'll have some new bimbo on his arm by tomorrow, and I'll just become Clary again. His annoying sisters best friend. He'll act like he doesn't remember that night, or any of the nights. Because he's Jace Herondale, Womanizer Player 3000. He got what he wanted, and now it's time to move on.

So I won't get in his way.

I'll pretend nothing's wrong, nothing ever happened between us. I might even try and find a date for Homecoming. Yeah, Jace Herondale wants to forget, I'll forget right along with him.

I just smile to myself, despite the emotions still raging inside of me.

My smile drops when my phone rings, I don't even have to look at it to know it's him.

"What?" I say.

_"Clary! Oh thank God you answered. Listen I-"_

"It's fine, Jace. If you want to forget what we had, I won't stop you. We'll go back to how we were, like nothing ever happened. I'll see you tomorrow." I say, cutting him off and hanging up before he could answer.

Surprisingly, I start crying again. It doesn't matter that he was calling to end it, I did it first. I crushed the hope at hearing his relieved voice before it could take off. I tore the wings off the angel, and felt the agony of the victim, instead of the rush of power of the executioner.

My head started pounding and the room was spinning. My stomach was churning dangerously, and I knew what was next. I ran to the bathroom and just made it before I started heaving. My whole body ached with each wave, and I felt like I was going to shrivel up and die.

_Why did it hurt so bad? We weren't anything to begin with. We had feelings, yes, but it wasn't like I'm in __**love **__with him or anything. That would be insane._

I sigh and shudder when it stops, my face covered in a light sheen of sweat from the effort. I close the lid, flush, and wipe the back of my hand across my mouth.

I just lay my head on the lid, not having the strength to get up yet.

My mom comes in soon after, her face a mask of worry.

"Honey, what happened? Are you alright? Do you feel well? Should we go to the hospital? She's quietly ratting off questions, much like Isabelle was.

"I threw up, not really, not really, and no." I say.

Her lips press into a thin line. She says, "Can you stand up on your own?"

"I don't think so." I say back, closing my eyes.

I'm so tired and it's only 7:30.

She just nods then leaves the room for a minute. Luke comes back with her, scoops me up after letting me brush my teeth, and carries me back to my room; his familiar scent calming me.

He sets me down, giving me some pjs, then kisses my forehead and hugs me. My mom does the same. They tell me they love me and close my door.

I get changed, as fast as I can while not having any strength. Once I do, I burrow in my covers, and fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.

I'm woken up for a minute some time later, by voices.

I can hear my parents, and someone else. I don't really know or care who it is, and quickly roll over and fall back asleep.

I wake up sometime the next morning, I look at my clock to see it's 10:30.

Wow, I must have been _really _tired.

Then I remember that it's Thursday, and I have school.

_Crap!_

In my scramble to get out of bed I get tangled in my covers and end up falling off, my body tangled in fluffy blankets.

My mom must have heard the _thud _as I hit the floor, because she comes rushing into my room, dressed how she always is during the day.

"Clary! Are you alright!? I heard something hit the floor." She says, worried.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay, I tried to get out of bed because of school, and I got tangled. Oh my God, school! I'm late!" I say, my voice hoarse and dry.

My mom walks over to me, helping get me out, then says, "Sweetheart, it's okay. Luke and I called you in sick today; because you seemed in no shape whatsoever for school. You've been out cold since last night, I've been checking on you every hour since I woke up to make sure you weren't _dead_. You were sick last night, and then seemed like you could barely stay awake long enough to give one word answers. Luke left two hours ago, though he wanted to stay, but I didn't let him." She smiles at me, the fixes my bed and helps me back on it.

I'm surprised I didn't wake up. I'm not the heaviest sleeper in the world. I usually wake up if someone talks too loud in the other room.

I faintly remember waking up last night, but I don't remember anything else, so I just forget it. Whatever it was, it isn't important.

She asks me if I want any breakfast, and I decline. I'm not hungry yet, though I will be later. She says okay and leaves, keeping my door cracked open.

I grab my sketchbook, wanting nothing else than to lose myself in my art.

Jace doesn't cross my mind once.

Near lunch time, I've eaten, showered, hair brushed, clothed, and reading a book when I get a call from Izzy. It must be lunch at school.

_"Clarissa Adele Fray! Where the HELL are you!?" _She yells through the phone.

"Jezz, Izzy, calm down. I'm at home, my parents let me stay home from school because I felt and looked like shit. I threw up, and then slept for fifteen hours." I say.

_"Oh. Well, you could have informed me! I've been worried sick!" _Her voice a lot calmer now.

"Well, sorry, but I haven't been thinking about really anything." I say.

She huffs out a breath then says, _"Clary, what did you say to Jace last night? He won't come out of his room, and wouldn't come to school today. Whatever happened, he isn't doing well." _She says, her voiced hushed and worried.

"I didn't say anything he wasn't thinking." I tell her, my voice still strong even though I get a bad feeling in my stomach.

_"Clary, do you know what happened __**after **__you left? Jace saw your car, and knew you'd heard him. He didn't even mean any of it. He was going to go and apologize to you but didn't get the chance…" _I can hear her going on but the phone has already slipped from my grasp, I don't register it hitting the floor, or her voice calling my name.

The last thing I see is my mom coming into the living room, and her rushing forward before everything goes black.

**A./N. MWUAHHAHAHAHAH! YAY DRAMA! I hope y'all liked it! I've noticed with weekly updates, I get A BUNCH of views the first day, and then it's really low for the rest of the week. Ah, well, as long as everyone likes it! Rate/review/favorite/follow! Oh! And when Izzy comes over, she doesn't tell Clary about Jace, because she's expecting him to do it on his own. She's just there to comfort Clary.**

**Always,**

**Mari**


	13. Chapter 13

**A./N. Hey everyone! These weekly updates seem like I have to wait forever to get them to all of you. I'm glad I'm doing this today instead of yesterday because I was so tired, first full week of high school, done. Anyways, on to the story!**

**Disclaimer: I only own the plot**

**Clary p.o.v.**

Everything's black, and I don't know what's going on until I start hearing muffled voices, and things start getting clearer.

I open my eyes to see a white ceiling, so I must not be at home, and a clinical smell that perforates the room.

I blink away the blurriness, and turn my head to the side.

"Clary! You're awake! They said you would wake up eventually, but I was still so worried!" My mother's face comes into view, along with Luke's when I turn, and they both squeeze the life out of me with a hug. My mom is talking quickly into my neck, like she thought I was dead.

"Wh-what happened?" I ask them, my voice a hoarse whisper.

"You don't remember? You had collapsed and were out cold, so we called an ambulance. You almost hit your head, but your mother caught you before you hit the ground." Luke tells me.

"If you're wondering how long you were out, I can answer that for you, Ms. Fray." I turn my head to the right and see a doctor, a woman, standing there.

"I'm Dr. Gadic, and you were out for a day. We did some blood tests to see why you've been so sick recently."

"Ummm o-okay, what did you find out?" I ask.

"It seems that all the nausea, exhaustion, dizziness, all the unusual things that have been plaguing you were due to an unhealthy amount of stress. We've decided to keep you here for another day, just to make sure you recover. And before I go, I'd like to talk to Ms. Fray alone, please. Just some other personal questions." She says.

"Of course, we'll be right outside, sweetie." My mom says.

Once they close the door behind them, Dr. Gadic pulls up a chair next to my bed and sits down.

"Now, Clary, your parents filled out you patient admission form for you, but I would like to know some things that they most likely don't know; if you would be okay with it." She says.

I fist my hands in the white hospital blanket, and look at her, thinking that something must be wrong.

"Uh-uh sure, that's fine, I guess." I tell her. I hope it isn't something too serious.

She nods and looks at the clipboard she's been holding.

"We were all unsure as to why you've been under so much stress lately, besides from what your parents told us. They told me that you have recurring nightmares, but if that's been happening since you were little, I would assume it wouldn't cause you to be in the hospital; at least, not after this many years. Which leads me to what is the source of most teen drama: Boys. Ms. Fray, are you sexually active?" She asks.

God, I hate that term. Adults always use it.

I feel my face heating up and try and hide it by looking down, though I know it does no use.

"Uhhumm, yes, only once, about three weeks ago." I tell her, still not looking up.

I can hear her writing on her clipboard, and then she asks me another question.

"Did you use protection? And are you still romantically involved with this boy?" She says, still using her same, "I'm-a-doctor-so-I-get-to-talk-condescendingly-to- you" tone.

"No we didn't, and I honestly don't know."

She makes a "mhmm" noise as she writes on her clipboard. Then she says something that astounds me.

"Clary, I get it, a one night stand that you never meant to have, and now you don't know where you are. I was a teenager once too, which is why I had your parents leave the room. I can tell they think you're sheltered and naïve. It's better to let your feelings out, and to not hold back. You never know what will happen if you don't try. Just, from a doctors point of view, next time, use a condom, it'll save you a great amount of stress." She says, her tone soft and understanding.

I finally look at her, she's already waiting for my eyes to meet hers, and she smiles softly before standing up.

"Now, if you ever need to talk, here's my card. I also work part time as a counselor for adolescents. You can call or walk in, it doesn't matter. I'll always be ready to talk either way." She says before she leaves.

I take the card and just stare at her; I never expected this from a doctor, much less one who seemed so arrogant before. She smiles at me then leaves; I just return the smile, looking wonderingly at the card.

My parents come back in, and tell me that Dr. Gadic had prescribed some antianxiety meds for me to take. Just for the next ten days. It turns out that I'm at Saint Beth's, and my parent's haven't gone home since I was admitted.

We talk for a while, and then someone knocks on the door. It's Izzy and Simon. My parents leave to go get some coffee and dinner, and Iz and Simon both rush to me and engulf me in a hug.

"Clary! I was so worried, we've been here since last night, but they wouldn't let anyone but family in, so we slept in the waiting room." Izzy tells me.

"Yeah, we tried to tell them that we were your siblings, but they didn't buy it." Simon says; fixing his glasses that got crooked while we hugged.

"Uhm Clary, we're not the only ones who're here." Izzy says, her voice low.

"Well who else came then?" I ask.

"Jace is outside in the waiting room." Simon says. He makes a face, tries to hide it but fails.

_Jace._

I million thoughts come rushing back to me, and my breath huffs out of me at the amount of emotion that comes with his name.

Jace and I during the Code Red.

Jace and I in the Lightwood's kitchen.

Jace and I in his room.

Jace and I at the party.

All of those memories over the past few weeks making it hard to breathe. I don't even realize I've closed my eyes until I feel Izzy shaking me slightly.

"Clary! Clary are you alright!? Clary!"

I open my eyes to both of their nervous gazes.

"Ye-yeah I'm okay."

They both sigh then relax. I don't know what I feel right now. The fact that he's _here_ makes me want to scream both in anger and joy. My heart is beating like a racehorse, and I have butterflies in my stomach. I remember what he said about me, but I don't care. Izzy told me he was going to apologize, that he didn't mean any of it, so now I really don't care.

Then I hear myself, and how I'm rationalizing this, and I just don't know _what _to think. The easiest way to find out what I feel is for him to come in, but do I really want that? What if he doesn't feel anything for me and just feels bad? What if I am a whore who sleeps with random guys?

I start to get dizzy again and stop myself in my tracks.

_Stop it, Clary. This is exactly what got you in the hospital in the first place. You're stressing yourself out. He's just a guy._

Is he? Is he "Just a guy"? I don't know anymore. He was different around me, kind and sweet instead of arrogant and cruel. We opened up to each other.

I sigh and try and forget about Jace for the moment, knowing that it's just going to confuse me more.

Simon and Izzy leave after forty five minutes. They're officially dating as of this morning, and are going out on their first date.

They both say it isn't a big deal and will stay with me if I want, but I make them go. I've been waiting for this for years, so I'm not gonna stop them.

I lie back down on the bed, closing me eyes. I'm about to try and sleep when another person knocks on the door, I assume it's my parents, a nurse, or doctor, but I'm wrong.

Immediately my heart pounds and my face flushes when I see the golden hair and tawny eyes.

It's silent when he comes in, and when he takes the seat Izzy was occupying, neither of us want to break the silence.

We end up not saying anything at all, he just wraps me in his arms and I cling to him like he's the only thing keeping me from floating away.

I don't notice I'm crying until I feel his shirt wetting. It isn't the racking sobs I had before, but a calm sort of crying, one where it's not anger and pain, just relief.

I feel him crying as well, as much as he's trying to hide it.

We just stay like that, until he gets out of the chair and climbs into the bed with me.

It seems like hours that we just sit there, but in reality, it's only for twenty minutes.

He's the one to finally talk, I had assumed it would be something along the lines of "I'm so sorry" or, "Please forgive me", but it isn't. It's what we both feel, and are now letting be shown.

"I love you, Clary. So much. I didn't think I would know what love felt like, since I've never had a long relationship, hell, we aren't even dating. But I do know that I love you. And I'm not going to wait to say it." His voice is soft and quiet, like he wants this moment to be kept away from the prying ears of the universe.

"I love you too, Jace." I say, staring into his amber eyes. The raw emotion in them blows me away, I'm sure my eyes mirror his.

I reach up and tangle my hands in his golden locks, pulling him closer to me. We're so close you can't tell where one body ends and another begins.

He kisses me after a while, trying to be a gentleman and just lie with me, but he fails of course.

The kiss turns primal after a few seconds, both of us feeling more than we ever have.

As tired as I still am, I roll him onto his back, straddling his hips. His arms circle my waist, bringing me even closer to him.

He breaks the kiss to start biting and kissing my neck, while I do the same to his collarbone.

His hands, so experienced and calm, now tremble slightly with the effort of keeping himself in check.

He growls and drags me back up to claim my lips when I bite his earlobe. I just chuckle against his lips, knowing I'm going to pay the price for teasing him later.

The sound of voices outside my room doesn't register until the door opens and Jace and I both freeze.

**A./N. MWUHAHAH! Sort of cliffy for all of you. I know this was rather fluffy, but I decided y'all deserved some fluff after these last few chapters. Rate/review/favorite/follow as usual!**

**Always,**

**Mari**


End file.
